Journey With Sam

It is a sad week with riots across the country and COVID-19 deaths hitting over 100,000 in the US. I have so many feelings about those events, but at the moment, I have something personal to celebrate. It is official…my cancer is gone! After 5 months of chemo and a bilateral mastectomy, it is officially gone. I am so excited to say that and can’t wait to celebrate.

On May 20th, I had my bilateral mastectomy. It is a unique time to have surgery given I had to wear a mask at all times except in my overnight room. Thankfully my mom was allowed to be with me pre and post surgery.

The surgery went really well. The surgery included the bilateral mastectomy, checking my lymph nodes for cancer, removing my port, and starting reconstruction. It was not a short surgery. Thankfully it was a nipple sparing mastectomy. This means instead of cutting across the breast, they cut under my breast. It also means I didn’t lose any skin or my nipples. The plastic surgeon was able to insert the expanders mostly filled because he needed to fill the space. This will hopefully lead to a faster recovery and will definitely lead to a more natural look.

They do a pathology test during surgery and after surgery. Both of these came back negative for the lymph nodes, areas under my nipples, and my right breast. They were able to successfully remove all of the cancer in my left breast. So this means…I am cancer free!

This week was full of doctor appointments. I saw the oncologist on Tuesday. We didn’t have the final pathology report back yet, but she was thrilled at what the initial report said. I will be going back to her in a month to determine if any additional actions are required. I will likely end up on a pill to restrict my estrogen to limit the cancer’s ability to come back, but I will learn more about that in June. I saw the plastic surgeon on Wednesday and he was thrilled at how everything looked. There is very limited bruising and everything is healing well. Sadly he wasn’t ready to take out the drains (more on that later). The best part of the appointment….he cleared me to shower! Nothing like a nice hot shower after a week of not showering. The last appointment was on Thursday with the breast surgeon. She was also thrilled at the progress and was the one that was able to tell me that the final pathology report was great news. So overall, the appointments went really well.

So how is recovering from my bilateral mastectomy going? It is limiting. I have not had pain at all since waking up in the hospital. However, my chest is very tight and sore. I have two drains, one on each side, draining excess fluid from my breasts. This is what I was dreading the most about the surgery. They are not painful, but very annoying. It is literally two cords sticking out of my sides attached to what looks like grenades at the end. Every morning and night my mom has to “strip the drains” and then empty and measure the amount of fluid that came out. The fluid initially was very red but has settled down to a yellowish color. We have a log to keep track of how much fluid has drained each time and I am so hoping to get them removed on Tuesday. It is very awkward going outside with the drains given they are hard to hide. Thanks to Jen for an amazing zip up sweatshirt that has pockets for the drains. This at least allows me to walk without looking weird, but walking in summer weather in a sweatshirt isn’t an ideal situation, so it is time for them to go. They are also held in place by 1 or 2 stitches so I have to be careful of movement and not pulling on them.

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Movement is also incredibly limited. I am not allowed to lift or move my arms much. I cannot lift anything that has weight to it. I cannot do a lot of things. Mom has to hold the leash on dog walks. I need help getting tank tops over my head. There is very little I can actually do. Each day is getting better, but it is a slow, frustrating process. I thank God for my mom and dad every day and that they were able to come help me. Dad was here for a week and mom will be here until I can manage things on my own. They have done so much for me. I debated which was worse, losing the ability to use your leg (knee surgeries) or your ability to use your upper body. I have decided this is way worse. You need your arms for everything. I can’t even open a pill bottle to get my meds and the first week I couldn’t drink out of a cup (raising a cup is hard when you have limited motion). Thankfully I can now drink from a glass, which is good since it is much easier to drink wine and cider now (kidding…partly).

Sleeping is another interesting issue. I am a side sleeper and have always been. Now I have to sleep elevated on my back. So I have a lot of pillows propping me up and put a pillow on each side of me to try to limit my want to move to the side. It means I wake up often and can’t fall right back asleep, but I am finally getting used to it. I cannot wait to get to sleep on my side though.

Callie has been my little shadow through this all. Normally she is content to sleep in my bed while I am home working or doing something else. Since I got home from surgery, she is always in the same room with me and keeping an eye on me. She is such an incredible dog and I am lucky to have her. Hopefully she can start relaxing more as I keep feeling better. I think she would love for me to go back to work so she can get a solid 8 hours of sleep during the day.

So overall, I am doing well. I am getting bored from sitting on the couch and reading or watching tv. I have watched way too much tv and already finished two books. Disney’s opening announcements have at least provided excitement into my life but I fear most of my client’s will probably be cancelling their trips. I enjoy my two walks a day. I have gone from .3 mile walks to a 1.8 mile walk this morning. The walks are slow, but they get me outside and moving. I am so ready to be able to do something with a little more energy but that will come.

Next steps are hopefully getting my drains out on Tuesday and starting physical therapy on the 10th. I will continue to be good and follow the doctors instructions to ensure I don’t push it too much.

Thank you all so much for your support throughout the whole process. Hopefully in 3-5 weeks, I am mostly back to normal and just waiting on my hair to grow back.

Stay safe and healthy everyone.